I've been contemplating lately about leaving. Everything I've been through lately, I just want to move to another country and start over. How easy it would be to not know anyone and begin again: fresh, new, with nothing or anyone to hold your past over your head. There is a place that I'm thinking of.
You don't get far in this town where I grew up and live in without seeing someone you know or people that know of you. I keep telling myself "It's going to pass and be alright." But, the ugly truth is....it won't. Things will never be the same. Circumstances and choices we make stick with us, mold us, and we keep on, regrets or not. Everything in me has to believe: that no matter the outcome, this is only temporary. I will look back and laugh or cry, learn from or repeat.
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It is temporary, as you know all too well life is temporary therefore this too shall pass. You should do what you feel is right for you but you cannot run from yourself. There is a classic story written by Ursula Le Guin called "A Wizard of Earthsea". In that young wizard called Ged full of pride unleashes a nameless dread on the world. This nameless thing hounds him and he runs and runs, undergoes great hardships trying to run away from it. At the end of the story he finally decides to turn around and face. When he does he realized this dread he was running away from was himself.
ReplyDeleteRead this story when I was 13 and it always stuck with me.