Getting There

Oswald Chambers challenges us to study John 1:38-39 in his book 'My Utmost for His Highest' for the June 12 entry. This particular daily devotion calls me to more than engage in a pondering debate yet, to repent:

"They said to Him, Rabbi....where are You staying?' He said to them, 'Come & see' "

Where our self-interest sleeps & the real interest is awakened. "They..... Remained With him that day......" That is about all some of us ever do. We stay with him for a short time, only to wake up to our own realities of life. Our self-interest rises up and our abiding with him is past. Yet there is no circumstance of life in which we cannot abide in Jesus. 

"You are Simon....You shall be called Cephas" (John 1:42) God writes our new name only on those places in our lives where he has erased our pride, self-sufficiency, and self-interest. Some of us have our new name written only in certain spots, like spiritual measles. And in those areas of our lives we look all right. When we are in our best spiritual mood, you would think we were the highest quality Saints. But don't dare look at us when we are not in that mood. A true disciple is one who has his new name written all over him: self-interest, pride, and self-sufficiency have been completely erased. 

"Pride is the sin of making "self" our god. And some of us today do this, not like the Pharisee, but like the tax collector(Luke 18:9-14).  For you to say, "Oh, I'm no saint," is acceptable by human standards of pride, but it is unconscious blasphemy against God. You defy God to make you a saint, as if to say, "I am too weak & hopeless & outside the reach of the atonement by the Cross of Christ." Why aren't you a saint? It is either that you do not want to be a saint, or that you do not believe that God can make you into one. You say it would be all right if God saved you & took you straight to heaven. That is exactly what He will do! And not only do we make our home with Him, but Jesus said of His Father & Himself, "....We will come to him & make Our home with him" (John 14:23). Put no conditions on your life- let Jesus be everything to you, & He will take you home with Him not only for a day, but for eternity.

~Oswald hits the nail on the head in this excerpt, I can't help but to share it because it speaks to me (maybe to you?). Reading this truth brings me to my knees & who would I be if I didn't feel this deep within my bones? God is with me 24/7 & lives in me! I don't want the world to see me as a spotted giraffe or a stripped zebra, picking & choosing what is right or wrong for me from His holy word. The Bible is complete truth & I must believe & put it into action -ALL of it. This is my struggle, to have my new name written all over me! I must confess, so that I can be made whole. My prayer: "God, take me as I am & make me a saint. I am yours, may you be glorified in & through me. I desire my home to be with You forever. Father, please erase my pride, self-sufficiency, and self-interest. I love you Lord & thank you for your grace & mercy, for the sacrifice you made for us all."

Fall or Fail

Have you ever started something and then realized you REALLY didn't want to do it in the first place? Yet, when you finally finished and accomplished the goal you set out to do....you felt a sense of achievement?  Well(deep subject- I know), a few weeks ago I went biking in the mountains, please understand that I haven't really worked out consistently for approximately 10 months now. Translation: I haven't been on a bike since it was my only mode of transportation a year and a half ago and when I used to teach cycle classes at McLeod Health and Fitness 2 years prior.

My sweet friend was so excited that I agreed to go biking with him on the trails of Pisgah National Forest that he bought me these new stylin' and profilin' bike shoes! We already biked on the roads the day before -down & UP the mountain, approximately 12 miles, no big deal right?  Yeah, it wasn't until I was going so fast that I was too scared to stop!  I screamed and shouted, letting it all out(thank you Will-i-am and Britney).  Anywho, I thought if I could handle the roads, riding trails would be a cake walk; boy was I ever WRONG!

As we were climbing 1000 feet up on the bikes through rocks and unstable ground, I was out of breath and struggling to peddle.  As I was dying, gasping for air, I thought it was impossible to go on.  I screamed out loud, things I won't repeat yet, at that time felt necessary.  

I told Lanier to go ahead of me because I knew I was holding him back.  Truth was: I was exhausted and wanted to stop, as I did I began to cry and didn't want him to see me in my moment of weakness.  I was mad at myself for not keeping in shape consistently over the past year and angry that I let myself believe that I couldn't go on.  Then I realized there was more to my current circumstance than the physical aspect of climbing up a mountain.  It went deeper than my muscles working, my emotions were stirring and fear was present.  I came close to an edge of part of the trail and imagined falling.

My heart was racing and tears flowed like a waterfall.  I didn't want to fall and get hurt, I didn't want to feel pain or break something.  All I could think of was quitting.  Seeing some of the drops from the trail I knew that death could be a possibility.  Then a calm sensation came over me; was it me or God provoking thoughts of reassurance like: "What is the worse thing that could happen? You die, then what?"  You see, I know when I leave this earthly body I will be with my Father in heaven, so what is there to be scared of?  He's got me, if I fall, yeah, maybe I could break something or be scared for life.  This comforted me because I was reminded how GINORMOUS my God is.  No matter how sticky a situation gets and no matter what happens in my life I can stand on my rock, Jesus, and through his word I can grow stronger.  My God is the same God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego whom he saved from the fire(Daniel chapter 3)!  Do you know this?

Don't fall in love with money. Be satisfied with what you have. The Lord has promised that he will not leave us or  desert us. That should make you feel like saying, “The Lord helps me! Why should I be afraid of what people can do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5, 6)

I am choosing to fear God and not man or anything in/on this earth because whatEVER comes while we are living here can't touch or even come close to what God has done and is doing! Trust me, I read da good book, I know who wins in the end!  Reading the Bible and the stories of those before me I understand that there ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from Him!

What wakes me up the most is how unconscious I was because I was trying to do life alone. I didn't want to ask for help and attempted to be stubborn, yet I continually learn how weak I am, but praise God He is STRONG and He is my strength! It is very difficult when you do ask for help, get shot down, and must swallow your pride by again asking for more help. Noah didn't build the Ark in a day and the disciples asked Jesus questions non-stop, which reminds me how the word patience is written in the Bible more than one time.  Waiting on God, not man......funny how God uses man to assist us in our patience learning process, huh?  Sometimes, God sends us what or WHO we need to flourish.

So, YES.....I survived the 5 mile trail and came out with a few bumps and bruises, but most importantly my faith grew.  The bruises remind of my pride and the challenging trail correlates with what we must endure to build our hope.  I am humbled enough to know that I will fall and fail in this life, certainly not on purpose, yet I am secure in knowing I am not alone.  I will forever have Jehovah~Shalom and Jehovah~Shammah with me, The Lord of Peace and The Lord my Companion.  

Some of the trail wanted to come home with me. Hehehe.