The things people say....

The way people communicate with you is definitely a sign of how you deal with life. I remember as a child someone bought me a Twinkie, then as I began to eat it said "Are you going to eat that? That's how you get fat." You see, the thing with manipulating a child is you never know what they might say in return. Me & my spunky Brewster self replied "Is that what happened to you?" I enjoyed every single bite of that devilish dessert. You see, words leave an impact if we let them. My entire adult life revolves around a healthy lifestyle, nutrition & exercise. If we allow, we give power to the words spoken to or over us. I remember a moment the church I was attending at the time, found out I was getting a divorce. The assistant pastors wife told me to step down from helping out in the nursery, then informed me that "if you go through with this, you will never have the anointing of God in your life." To this day I successfully intimidate & scare Christians, not God though.
I do want to share something that probably threw me under the bus completely....
It was within 3 months of my best friend dying. My ex husband told a lady that worked at the department of social services that I cried too much. She looked at me and asked "When did your father pass?" I let her know it was approximately 3 months, she then looked at me callously and said "that is just too long, you need to pull yourself together & get over it." Harsh, am I right?
Tonight, my oldest son and I were talking. He saw me struggling to hold back the tears & asked "What's wrong mom?" I simply told him the truth, "I feel like I have failed you and your siblings." He quickly replied "you have not! You are an excellent mother, friend, and inspire people. You save people, helping them lose weight, and helping them learn how to deal with life. Teaching them how to breath, relax, and find peace. Showing them it's possible and I hope to be able to do the same one day!"
Yes, the things people say. Do they really know what they say? Some do, most do not. No matter what is said, we do not have to let their words have power in our lives unless we want them to. We can choose truth & let the intuition within us come to the surface. Let your thoughts have power and let the freedom to be who you are radiate brighter than the sun. If anything, you must know, you are LOVED!

Passing pain

Through all these years, I've suffered and felt pain so deep as if it was unbearable. No one knew, I hid it from you. My heart was heavy, my soul was pushed down. My smile was covering the hurt and holding back the tears. I was completely alone & believed that is the way it had to be. I tried to fight back, I thought I could protect myself. Misery consumed my thoughts, I made it my reality. Hope did not exist as I was stuck inside a dried up well. I wasn't ever good enough, not even for myself.
Then, I let go, I gave in. I surrendered to the pain and welcomed the shame. I cried out loud and let you in. I shared my brokenness and showed you my wounds. I silenced the lies and spoke truth to fear. Ego couldn't bear it, he grasped his last breath. As I crashed unto the shore completely bare with nothing left, I opened my heart to see miracles burst forth. Not knowing others were watching the whole time. I saw freedom arise. Unspeakable love filled the air, the impossible became possible, and healing rejuvenated my entire being. An explosion of grace consumed me as when I first believed. It was then I woke up to find how LOVE relinquishes debt of any kind and restores the most barren of souls. The weight is not mine to carry anymore. I discovered why I am here, to channel love & light that only comes from a place of immeasurable joy. Grateful for these lessons, because without the pain I would not be where I stand today....watching miracles come forth as if they mimic the  oceans waves. Never ending love, eternities peace, and power beyond mountain peaks.