Fuck, I'm writing again...

    There is something so sexy about a blank page. It is refreshing...the nothingness, how no judgement has yet been cast, just a clean slate. It welcomes complete honesty, not a fuck to hold. What may spill out upon the page has yet to arrive. The words waiting to escape and bleed without worry of the mess it may make. That is how I feel when I get the opportunity to write and let my verbiage completely explode. Raw, real, unapologetic, it really is who I am. Unafraid, as if no one will read it and find out how deeply I can go. As I mentioned in the beginning: sexy. The unknown has forever been more of a temptation to me than another soul. Another soul seems like too much work, the trusting part...do we really need to trust? Nothing is staple, guaranteed. I know this more than anyone, its why I laugh so much and find a reason to smile. People scare the hell out of me. I learned lessons throughout my life I wish upon no one. The lives that have hurt me, I'm being too kind. There are those that sought out to destroy me, crush me to the point of no recovery. For some divine reason I didn't allow that, I fought back, I created and accepted everything thrown at me as a challenge. Now, I find myself amongst others that have done the same and can't for the depths of me explain with any human language how grateful I am. The beauty I'm surrounded by and the exceptional light that beams from their hearts. I'm overwhelmed. The paint I stroke upon the canvas and words I type upon each page is inspired from those that lift me up without even knowing. My heart is fluttering, my body is shaking. I'm living in the moment and that's where I'm meant to be because I belong here. We are one, so don't take it personal and let the fucks fall.        

What's a woman to do?

 I made a Facebook post commenting on women that post mainly pictures of themselves only in swimsuits, wearing next to nothing or with their makeup perfectly done with filters. Hinting they want attention with these sort of post. I took it down understanding people were taking it personally. My intention was not to appear judgmental. To be honest, I was drinking at the time. A part of me awakened to defining acceptance and judgment. Hence the pictures of their definition. I don’t blame women feeling the need to express themselves so strongly due to the fact that women have been oppressed since the beginning of time. We’ve been silenced, abused, sexualized, raped, removed rights, been told where “our place” is. If those aren’t reasons to get lit over, angered & traumatized....I don’t know what would be. Many men have been taught that women are objects to be looked at, as someone to care for all their basic needs: food, maids, mothers, sex, etc. Not as equals that are smart, strong, and deserving of respect. Some women agree it is better to be seen and not heard. Women tearing down other women for their personal gain or selfish jealousy is another painful to have to watch. This is the exact opposite of acceptance, which brings me back to why I posted my drunken thoughts on social media the day before. 

Here it is: when we accept ourselves, we open the way to accept others. We won’t need to feel acceptance from anyone else. We will have the freedom to not take others actions or words personally, nor make assumptions. To look at others as a mirror, a reflection of one's own opinion. Basically, if I’m insecure, I’ll see insecurities. If I’m strong, I’ll see strength, if I’m mad...you get my drift? I could go on and on, but I need to go love on some women right now. 

God

If God’s love is like the ocean, why do I not feel the crash of the waves? How can I possibly get lost in His love that goes deep and wide beyond any measurement of time? A love that fearlessly embraces you as you are...never holding back forgiveness & grace? Peace that offers assurance of never ending freedom sounds too good to be true. Yet, if I stand still, I understand. If I sit in observance I see it. If I lay down I feel it as if a dream has taken me into its three-dimensional world. May I be yours God, & you be mine. 

Self

 Yesterday I saw a surfboard that said “May the sea set you free.” In that moment I felt it register throughout every fiber of my being. Years of abusive relationships, it’s as if I finally woke up. Two years ago I let someone in. For 40 years I had walls and allowed my insecurities to flow freely. This one was gentle, kind, encouraging, believing in my talents and pursued me for a year. He persisted, I didn’t understand why at the time. Today, I’m beyond grateful because I was able to discover my worth during that time. Unconditional love and acceptance set me free. Love like an ocean gave me freedom. The uncontrollable waves crashed my thoughts of never succeeding and tolerating abuse. Water that attracts those ready to fully live surrounded me. Those who want to explore a world unknown and willing to learn how to soar with the birds. Yes, I gave in. I stripped my clothes of imprisonment and embraced something new. It was different from anything I’ve ever known. Trust? Peace? No, freedom. Freedom to be the little girl I was born to be. I’m here, I’m accepting the unpredictable wonders that may come my way with an open heart. No more judgment, just instinct. I’m not required to do anything or be a certain way, I’m free to imagine. I’m worthy to be loved, to love, I’m worthy to be here because I’m here. Someone opened the door to my soul and I saw the glory of which I was made of. It is absolutely amazing. The coolest part is, sit down....you really need to hear this, WE ARE THE SAME. That bright light that blinds you in the mornings is only your reflection. Chew on that and see how incredible it taste. 

I'm used to breaking all the rules

I've never been one to understand rules, especially ones that are silent. You know, the ones where we are supposed to draw inside the lines or wear underwear. I pretty much suck at abiding by societies rules. I like to be social, yet there are many times I enjoy hiding away. So, I'm not exactly an extravert or introvert, don't quite fit in any box or category.
Back to what I was saying, the most obscene rules I believe are the dating ones. All the relationship books I've read are pretty right on: do you, don't ever stray from that(which is a GREAT tip to living the happy life). Another one is making the guy wait, allow him to get his ego fed by holding off when it comes to sex. Allow him to hunt, to chase you. There are so many ways to do this and I suck at ALL of them. It’s ANNOYING to have so many “assumed” guidelines! Whatever happened to just being yourself??? If you meet someone....fantastic! If you don’t, join the rest of us losers that are apparently lost in unrealistic standards of being an actual kind human that returns text messages & phone calls. I’m just going to hang out over here in my imaginary utopia palace where I still believe people can be good & good things will happen to them.
By the way, I know my blog isn't for everyone....trust me, I see the numbers. I've been told I'm a wonderful writer, but I know the truth....no one reads this blog and my book sales are NO sales. So, I figured I would just go ahead and write whatever the hell I want and be filter free.
Why can't we just go ahead and live in a world free of competition? Free from judgement and attachment of our past? I don't like playing games, I'm not into rules on how to "get the guy". Guess I'm choosing single-hood, it does look quite good on me, right? I'll just keep celebrating those I'm surrounded by that revel in their romantic relationships.

This brings up a point of why I've always been a fan of Jesus & his never ending reckless love that accepts me unconditionally, now that’s appealing. No having to learn ways to win him over, he's already into me(& you too).

brush yo hair!

When I was younger, I absolutely despised brushing my hair. If I did, it would look like a fully grown chia pet. Every morning my mother would tell me, "Kara, BRUSH YOUR HAIR." Sometimes I would attempt to listen and painfully obeyed, leaving me quite embarrassed. I ask myself 33 years later "why?" Why was I embarrassed about having frizzy curly hair? Why am I still embarrassed if I don't look completely 'put together'? Not that I honestly try at all, yet if I pass by another woman that does appear to have her shit together and looks UH-mazing, I immediately feel incompetent. Yes, at 43 years old I randomly get intimidated. Is it because I don't understand I'm enough, or I'm comparing myself? Who am I supposed to be comparing myself to anyway? I'm not young, I'm not in shape like I was a few years ago, and there's a chance I've forgotten where I left my apartment key. Brushing hair is overrated, and apparently sleep is too, as I sit up in my bunk bed typing this pointless blog entry. Oh yeah, have I mentioned I sleep in the top bunk of my crashpad that host about 22-25 people? It's a three bedroom apartment with about 4 bunks per room...its not too bad. I pay about $300 per month and everyone is rarely here at the same time because we are all flight attendants on different schedules. New flight attendants deserve a reality tv show, with a theme song and a voice resembling Robin Leach saying: Lifestyles of the Bitches and Shameless. Until next time, good night.

No Ingles

Running through what some may call the 'ghetto' terminal of Charlotte due to all the construction and mass confusion, I enjoyed some entertaining thoughts. I was rushing to catch a plane in another terminal and heard someone shouting across the way: "Ma'am! Do you speak English?" I look over and the woman was waving me down, I squinted my face and then remembered I was in uniform. I didn't realize I resembled a Spanish speaking origin, or maybe it was just the fact I was wearing my glasses and that made me look 10 times more intelligent. An intelligent bi-lingual woman, I'll take it! I responded as I picked up my pace towards the direction of my plane: "No Ingles!" 

Flight Attendant Bedtime Stories

Dim lights, patterned carpet, the sound of the fan running, that old building smell, and little ol' me in this huge ass hotel bed. Alone. The heat on, yet I'm still cold. Eyes heavy from tiredness, the aching growing stronger from lack of sleep. Still trying to recover from nights before, when I had a deadhead to New York from Washington, DC. Realizing it was midnight by the time the company got me to my hotel room. I fell onto the bed, not seeing any point to change clothes because four hours later I would be shuttled back to the airport to work the flight back to DC. Thinking I could sleep the rest of the day was wishful. My 38 by 75 inches of personal space in the crashpad may only be half the size of this hotel king mattress but, for some odd reason it doesn't make me feel as lonely.

Spread the word

Can you help me spread the word about The Little Yogi books? This is part of the Ladybug Project, raising awareness on child molestation. These books give children 3-10 years of age coping mechanisms for anxiety and stress related symptoms. 

The 🐞 Project wants children to have tools for a successful life and be able to help trauma related reactions have less of an impact on these beautiful little lives. You can help, find the books on amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com by searching my name: Kara C Adams. 

Let’s get these books in every elementary school possible & be the change we want to see. Yoga poses are at the end of every book: 

‘Just My Luck’

‘A New Dawn’

‘Walk the Plank’

#childrensbooks #thelittleyogi #traumatools #bethechange #author #theladybugproject #hope #counseling #elementary

Top 10 Life hacks.....

#1:

Don’t expect anything

(from anyone or anything).

#2:

When you gotta go.....GO!

 #3:

Don’t take things personally.

#4:

Don’t make assumptions.

#5:

Let joy be an inside job.

No one or materialistic thing will be able to take it away.

#6:

Enjoy the present, be present, put the phone down & be in the moment, the conversation. This is how the best memories are created.

#7:

Be impeccable with your word.

#8:

Make people smile, if you aren’t funny, give compliments. 

#9:

Let people know they matter. Be kind, hold the door, say “hello”, text a heart; every life matters, so let us celebrate that.

#10:

Always do your best.

Your best looks different from my best, give the best we can in each moment & every moment requires something different. Our best will not always look and feel the same.