Skeptical

At times, I fear that I have become skeptical of anything good happening to me. That I will never feel happiness or fulfillment in the form of exceptional health(quality of life), marriage, or sense complete peace with my job and financial status(providing for my family). Let's get real, I'm not the only one that questions this. As I struggle to be the best parent that I can be, I fail miserably in many concoctions. Then, if and when things are going too smoothly, I'm thinking in the back of my mind: "Okay, when is the big piano going to fall out of the sky and squash me?" Just like the old school cartoons!
I'm hesitant to celebrate, doubting the stars to shine in my favor. Yet, I know Jesus was not cynical or leery. This fabrication I've created in my psyche that nothing will remain positive, or be careful to not come across too exultant because at any minute the boogie man will run out to give you your death sentence, is an absolute a deception. Jesus was devoted to reconcile us to God. He was without doubt, assuring us that He was the way, the truth and the light. Nothing else should matter then, right? My flesh should not be of concern, concluding that there is some remedy for my need to rectify the decisions I've made. Acting out, postulating this is how it is. Pondering how you HAVE to go through hell because that is what this life is all about, gaining understanding so that we might desire heaven! No, flippin NO! That is not how God works. He is here with us NOW! God is bigger than my head, more enormous than any one's thoughts, vast beyond comprehension! We have no clue how amazing His love is! He adores when I'm flourishing, when we feel on top of the world. He aspires for us to see the obstacles in our lives and know they can be removed. He does scoop us up, if we allow him to, when we fall back and listen to that stinkin thinkin. Only to catch us and remind us, the best is yet to come. Don't settle for, or become to close of friends with, pessimism.