It's none of your business

When we wonder or take the time to ponder on others lives, thinking "if only he/she would.." Or perhaps say something along the lines of: "my life would be so much easier or better if they...." We are wasting time & energy. The older I get the more I realize it's not about how others react or treat me, they only know what they have created or been programmed to believe. The habits they live out and thoughts they've formed are theirs. It's not my, or anyone else's, job to change them. If they become aware or conscious then they have the decision if they want to grow or develop into more, unveiling their limitless potential. It is our task to focus on our own energy, where we want to go, determining what kind of life we want to live. If someone upsets you with what they say or do, your consciousness is trying to show you something about you. Are you being abused by someone's words, fists, or attitude? You are allowing that & therefore abusing yourself. Are you being hurt by someone's actions, let's be honest...you are hurting yourself. I've recently seen this in a friend, she keeps choosing to go back into a bad relationship (repeating the same scenario with the same person or different ppl) saying "if I do this differently he will love me, or if I change this and submit to his every want...we will succeed as a couple." What she doesn't realize is that he is living in his own world. She can not control or influence what he chooses to do, no matter how much she desires to make things better, nothing will change. He will continue to manipulate, brain wash, and abuse her because she is not only allowing it yet, because she is abusing herself more as she determines the amount of pain that she will tolerate. The amount of suffering she permits others to do to her is a direct result of how she sees herself and the suffering she is placing upon herself. It is much easier to read about this or hear rather then physically face in our own adversity. When you have a spouse, child, or loved one that you care deeply for, you perhaps open yourself up to being attached. You start to take things personal. It's really not about you. The painstaking words, spells, and outburst of another casting this upon you is from that person's own dwellings/dealings of heaviness. Until they wake up, they do not understand what they are doing, possibly resulting in blaming others/you for such actions. Focus on what you can do for you, if your loved ones continues to create pain in their lives, let them. You are not responsible for them, you are only responsible for you. That being said: be love, be patient, be kind, and meditate. This too shall pass, rest easy, peace is always present so, allow it to flow freely. Let go of judgement, no matter what is said or done because, it's not about you, don't make or take it personal. Focus forward.

What I want to say but, don't:

My message to Christians(I'm prepared to be deleted from your list or to get ugly emails):
1st: I love you as brothers & sisters, my heart aches for you when you suffer and struggle, I have compassion & stand beside you. I desire to lift you up, build you up. There is celebration & joy to be done for your victories & accomplishments. We are one as the body of Christ. I am here as your biggest cheerleader, encourager, and motivator.
2. Why are you judging others? How dare you or I tell someone how to live if we aren't along side them in the trenches! How dare you mock, make fun of, put someone in place, say: "if you get a divorce you are not going to have God's blessing!" How dare you limit God and say yoga is of the devil. God uses donkeys, thieves, murderers, prostitutes, and us. Stop making excuses and using history as a default, limiting how God has access to people is immature and limits his work. Anyone else's sin, beside your own, is NONE of your business. Get right with God first, that means seek him, self develop, & match your actions/example to your faith. Judging others, their lifestyle or relationships is not part of your calling. Don't say a word unless you are speaking in love, question your intention.
3. Faith is lived every second, not just when you need it. Discipline your mind, be the change. If you are obese, in adultery, struggle with porn or drugs, gossip, etc. DO something about it! Be the temple God has called you to be, clean it up! Eat right, exercise, get accountability, read books, break bad habits. It is possible to change, the same energy it takes to eat a Twinkie is the same energy it takes to eat an apple. Take yourself off automatic pilot to shifting gears until you establish a new habit.
4. Want to see God's kingdom here on earth? Start by shutting up & taking more action, walk out faith by being patient, give more of your time, money, and kindness. Be convicted that you haven't done enough on every pillar: physically, mentally, spiritually, & financially.

Learning to heal

Today, yoga class caught me off guard. I went to help get over this right rear end issue, you know that deep sciatic pain that triggers when you don't want it to….like all day, everyday. As I walked in, kicked my shoes off, and rolled my mat out in between the 30 other people that wanted to feel even more amazing on this Labor Day holiday. I started to slowly stretch, yup it wasn't going away, my muscles locked up even more physically telling me that they refused to relax. Teacher walked in, class begun. Sun salutations, warm up poses, the warmth of the room, it was comforting, yet EVERY pose my ass kept screaming "NO!" Side note: I love God, I am a Christian, but cursing is a total weakness of mine, its like the only appropriate way to describe certain moments in life at times. If you get offended easily, this is NOT the blog for you, I may have been raised in the South, but I'm Californian at heart.
Teach started instructing hip openers, my fav(NOT), I submitted as much as I believed I could. When your mind gets in the way, your pretty much useless and limiting yourself to what could be. It was as if I couldn't move, I felt like I was beginning yoga for the first time and completely frustrated. I began to focus on just breathing. Softened my shoulders, relaxed my face, breathed in and breathed out, attempting to not notice my fellow yogis next to me folded up like pretzels. Savasana, you know that pose you do at the end of class where you just lay there looking like a corpse, finally arrived along with all my locked up emotions that were being held captive in my hips. My face started to flush with tingles, water collected in my eyes, tears flowed freely. The pain I ignored for years and memories I pushed away as a child, causing childhood amnesia, overwhelmed my soul. As I laid there I was quiet, my face grew more wet and I couldn't stop it from happening. This is yoga. Where healing is welcomed.

I'm not yet ready to share my whole story, so follow on this journey and maybe we can heal together…

Single Mom Stories of Encouragement

After an endless weekend of painting, fearlessly climbing (honestly scared to death of falling) cabinets and furniture to get the edge of trimwork on a vaulted ceiling coated with killz to escape the smell of smoke from the previous owner... I was tired. I didn't feel like standing in line at Walmart, waiting to return a can of paint. I, in my Dickies paint splattered overalls, wore the white paint quite well all over my arms, hands, toes, hair, & ears. I stood patiently, waiting my turn. The older gentleman, in front of me, had an accent along with 6 bags of clothes he was returning. He turned around to see me and smiled. He chuckled and said: "you must be a painter!" I replied with: "this weekend I am." He continued to talk as a line formed behind us. I could feel the tension of the people, the man -enjoying our conversation, was very loud. He was getting eye rolls & impatient looks from the crowd. The lady behind me asked if I knew him, I was honest with her by stating: "no." She then told me to not look at him and ignore him, so he would stop talking. Is this what we have come to? We are in such a hurry that we can't be kind? I continued to listen to the gentleman, acknowledged him as he boasted what he did for work, how much money he made, his divorce, etc. He then pulled his money out, he tried to give everyone in line some, no one would take it as if it was contaminated with some deadly virus. I held my hand out, told him: "I'll take some." It was $5, finally the clerk was finished scanning the mountain of clothes. Twenty minutes had passed and I was finally being helped. Bob(let's just call him Bob, my kids call everyone Bob(idk why)) didn't leave, he sat down, yes- still talking out loud to the line of people he helped create at customer service. As I began to leave, Bob came up to me. He handed me a gift card. He said "I don't know how much is on it, but maybe you can use it." I asked if he was sure, he told me to take it. I thanked him and left, called the number on the back of the card, there was $59 on it! I thought the whole situation was bizarre until I remembered how I stood in front of the cooking sets at Wal-Mart a week prior, I needed one for my new place along with silverware. As I went to the back to get the set and silverware, I couldn't stop smiling. When I went to check out at the register the price rang up higher than what I read in the back of the store, so I told the cashier that I couldn't get it. I knew the price would go over the gift card value. She asked me why, so I told her I must have looked at the price sticker wrong on the aisle. She asked what the sticker said, so I let her know, then she told me to hold on. Next thing I know she is fixing the price in the register to the price I saw! I share this with you because I'm in awe. We can't assume God's blessings to come a certain way. Sometimes, his gifts may not look like gifts, they may be wrapped up in what the world views as irritating or obnoxious. My prayer.....that we all become more patient, so that we may see as God does. Taking the time out for those right beside us as we wait in line at the store. Be loving, be gentle, listen with sincerity, so that we may learn and be blown away by God's faithfulness & promises. 

Nutrition... My opinion, but what's that matter?

Today, I'm unleashing the passion that stirs within me, a subject that I have always felt strongly about(well, over the past 20 years). I care so intensely for my friends & family, this is why I post & speak up on these matters.
You may not listen or even may be offended at what I say, just try to make room for the fact that I care about others, not money. I want to see people succeed in EVERY area of their lives! It's ALL connected: the mental to the physical, the spiritual to the tangible! Balance; I pray I attain it, you attain it, the whole freakin world learns & will eventually sustain it! If we really gave 2 cents about our future we would integrate nutrition into our educational system. Okay, here it goes...

It's not JUST about exercise, that lie we tell ourselves: "if I exercise I can eat whatever I want." Is just that, a lie. Nutrition is vital! Fast food, salty, & processed sweets will eventually kill you, toxins that break our bodies down on a deep cellular level. There is a reason God made apple trees & not Twinkie trees full of chemicals & processed crap -our bodies can not digest. Why do you think he made water & not Dr. Pepper? The more you educate yourself & learn the truth, the more likely chance you will stand up for yourself & take proper care of yourself. Doctors that tell you you are fine with your diet, who may push pain & depression meds need to be enlightened as well. We are this economy's paycheck. Wake up, when will you finally care enough to take care of the temple God has given you???? I love you. Here's some soul info...

Are nutrition and health related? Is healthy eating important? Of course!

Like a finely-tuned racing car, your body needs the right fuel (food) and regular maintenance (exercise, lifestyle and mental attitude) to achieve its true health potential. Nothing is more important than healthy eating!

Put in the wrong fuel or let it go without regular use and there's no way it can deliver its full power and performance. Without healthy eating, your body's engine will cough, splutter and eventually stall.

MAINTAINING A BALANCED DIET BY HEALTHY EATING CAN:
Give you vitality and energy for life.
Help you stay at a weight that's right for you.
Boost your immune system.
Improve sports performance.
Delay the effects of aging.
Keep you active and fit into old age.
Help beat tiredness and fatigue.
Protect teeth and keep gums healthy.
Enhance your ability to concentrate and possible alter mood.
Ward off serious illnesses like heart disease, certain cancers, mature-age onset diabetes, and gallbladder disease.

Sick souls

It saddens me some people are so unhappy that they attack others. Why do they  feel the need to take so much from someone that has nothing. Greed, it sickens me, people, politics, never finding satisfaction. Their pain, suffering, and anger is not blame worthy. They feed on destruction, sin brews within their hearts. They are  threatened by anyone seeking truth or filled with passion.

Dear........

I'm so done with angry people, I'm so done with lazy, I'm so done with those that are full of venom & gossip justifying their actions of hate towards others. If you lie within the bed of Satan, expect hell. I'm done, I will not look back, it's burned like a permanent tattoo within my mind of what & where I've come from. I'm so ready for this change, for this rain, to be made new.....to see the fullness of life! Your words cannot & will not hold me down or keep me back. I'm moving on, settling my debt, released from your death grip. I'm not sad nor mad, I will not satisfy you with harsh words or physical violence. Your speech is yours to keep, it has no power over me. Thank you for the time, thank you for the lessons learned through your bitter actions & gifts with strings. All I have left to say is: "goodbye, go back to where you came from or keep walking towards that door....you don't have far to go from where I see you standing." Let it go, let her go, no holding back anymore! 2015 is full of positive, inspiring, motivating, captivating moments that unfortunately you will never see. Not because I choose so, yet because you do. You will continue to sit there in your own misery, lying to yourself daily that anything different is wrong. Continue to slowly poison yourself and anyone that will listen or take pity upon you. As you devote yourself to depression, you are killing your soul with stains of pain. Focusing only on yourself, feeding the monster of destruction and screaming there is no other way! Look behind you already, so you may turn into the pillar of salt as if you were Lot's wife in the Bible. She knew what she was told not to do, but she did it anyway.
I no longer can sleep under your roof of condescending thoughts and accusations. I love you too much to let you walk over me and mold me to be just like you. I love you enough to do as you ask and leave. I love you.....yet understand that I will never be enough. I don't take it personal because you never took the time and saw the beauty or value of yourself. Projection isn't the answer; but listening to me is ridiculous? For the first time, in forever, as if before the evil that was stroked upon me as a wee child, I embrace peace that I can not describe. I can only pray that one day, your walls will decay, so you may feel the same. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu to you.