What I want to say but, don't:

My message to Christians(I'm prepared to be deleted from your list or to get ugly emails):
1st: I love you as brothers & sisters, my heart aches for you when you suffer and struggle, I have compassion & stand beside you. I desire to lift you up, build you up. There is celebration & joy to be done for your victories & accomplishments. We are one as the body of Christ. I am here as your biggest cheerleader, encourager, and motivator.
2. Why are you judging others? How dare you or I tell someone how to live if we aren't along side them in the trenches! How dare you mock, make fun of, put someone in place, say: "if you get a divorce you are not going to have God's blessing!" How dare you limit God and say yoga is of the devil. God uses donkeys, thieves, murderers, prostitutes, and us. Stop making excuses and using history as a default, limiting how God has access to people is immature and limits his work. Anyone else's sin, beside your own, is NONE of your business. Get right with God first, that means seek him, self develop, & match your actions/example to your faith. Judging others, their lifestyle or relationships is not part of your calling. Don't say a word unless you are speaking in love, question your intention.
3. Faith is lived every second, not just when you need it. Discipline your mind, be the change. If you are obese, in adultery, struggle with porn or drugs, gossip, etc. DO something about it! Be the temple God has called you to be, clean it up! Eat right, exercise, get accountability, read books, break bad habits. It is possible to change, the same energy it takes to eat a Twinkie is the same energy it takes to eat an apple. Take yourself off automatic pilot to shifting gears until you establish a new habit.
4. Want to see God's kingdom here on earth? Start by shutting up & taking more action, walk out faith by being patient, give more of your time, money, and kindness. Be convicted that you haven't done enough on every pillar: physically, mentally, spiritually, & financially.

Learning to heal

Today, yoga class caught me off guard. I went to help get over this right rear end issue, you know that deep sciatic pain that triggers when you don't want it to….like all day, everyday. As I walked in, kicked my shoes off, and rolled my mat out in between the 30 other people that wanted to feel even more amazing on this Labor Day holiday. I started to slowly stretch, yup it wasn't going away, my muscles locked up even more physically telling me that they refused to relax. Teacher walked in, class begun. Sun salutations, warm up poses, the warmth of the room, it was comforting, yet EVERY pose my ass kept screaming "NO!" Side note: I love God, I am a Christian, but cursing is a total weakness of mine, its like the only appropriate way to describe certain moments in life at times. If you get offended easily, this is NOT the blog for you, I may have been raised in the South, but I'm Californian at heart.
Teach started instructing hip openers, my fav(NOT), I submitted as much as I believed I could. When your mind gets in the way, your pretty much useless and limiting yourself to what could be. It was as if I couldn't move, I felt like I was beginning yoga for the first time and completely frustrated. I began to focus on just breathing. Softened my shoulders, relaxed my face, breathed in and breathed out, attempting to not notice my fellow yogis next to me folded up like pretzels. Savasana, you know that pose you do at the end of class where you just lay there looking like a corpse, finally arrived along with all my locked up emotions that were being held captive in my hips. My face started to flush with tingles, water collected in my eyes, tears flowed freely. The pain I ignored for years and memories I pushed away as a child, causing childhood amnesia, overwhelmed my soul. As I laid there I was quiet, my face grew more wet and I couldn't stop it from happening. This is yoga. Where healing is welcomed.

I'm not yet ready to share my whole story, so follow on this journey and maybe we can heal together…