Okay, so that's NOT my name

I love teaching aerobics, I find it amusing and ALWAYS entertaining. Although lately, I have been getting in quite a bit of trouble at work so, it hasn't been the same. I've had to, how can I put this lightly, contain some of my energy. I have NO clue (hehehe) who keeps ratting me out. Could be a member at the gym or a fellow co-worker, whoEVAH it is- I would enjoy sharing a few choice words with. I am laughing writing this because my motto, when I teach lately, has been to not share my real name during class. I introduce myself as Linda or Stacy, yet when I'm really feeling frisky I use a fellow instructors name. People that are acquainted with me and have been attending my classes let out a giggle or two. It totally makes my spirit light up because it reminds me of that song "That's Not My Name." Which brings me to my incredible, intense point. The song quotes: "they call me Stacy, they call me her," whatever it is they call her she claims "That's NOT my name!" In life, people assume that they know me or think that they know me because they know my name or what it is that I do....in actuality they have no clue. Truly, there is only one that apprehends me. Yes, it's God. Honestly, who else could know us inside out and still want to be with us? Some read my blog and say I'm hurting or sad, the fact is I'm plowing through, attempting to understand why and how I can get to utopia. It is NOT our job to know other peoples business or meddle in their lives trying to create more tension. We are here to know God, to share God, once that happens we will be with Him forever. So, until then.....that's not my name.

So Much More

There is so much more to this life than we can fathom. I needed a laugh today & someone made it happen. I know through my struggles & weaknesses that there is always hope. It may not feel as if it is there or even around the corner, yet it is. Last year when I lost my father to cancer I didn't feel an ounce of hope. As much as I prayed & cried, I felt completely alone. Sometimes, I still feel utterly isolated, unmatched, unaided, and as someone that deserves to be left desolate. Unremarkably, our creator has a totally different view of things. His perspective of me (of you) is profoundly and passionately intense to the point of Him sacrificing the most beloved gift known to mankind: His son. We are valid, for some insane reason his concern & compassion for us is off the charts. He reaches to us, yearns for us as we yearn for security & comfort. There is no one except God himself that has the capability to not only represent but significantly fill our desires and remove us from the torture of pain. He, if we allow, will offer the experience of a lifetime, providing fullness, contentment & everlasting joy! In the evening I see Him in my childrens breath as they sleep, in the morning I hear Him as He wakes me with the birds song of delight. If I seek him, through this journey He has bestowed upon me, I will find Him. It is everything that surrounds me where I can acknowledge His presence, I just need to be still, be quiet & ahhh....he is with me. And amazingly enough He gives me what I need, just like the much needed laugh from a friend!

Pain & Suffering

There is a reason for pain & suffering, although I can not see it just quite, yet. This too shall pass & when morning breaks I may discover the lesson learned to get me through my heartache.

I love you, yet you don't love

How do people fall in love? We can scientifically try to explain how our bodies produce certain hormones and its natural. After all isn't it built in us to reproduce?

Someone once told me: "I won't fall in love with you." It stung worse than any bug bite and my stomach started to feel sick, I almost threw up. You see I have this beautiful gift, and quite possibly the worst gift in the world when it comes to the heart. I love unconditionally. This is why friends tell me anything and everything. They know I will accept them NO MATTER WHAT. And, what they tell me in confidentiality will not go past my ear drum. I find it hard to hate someone, no matter what horrific sin they have committed. This puts me at a very difficult place when it comes to relationships. I continue to let the person back in, embrace and allow them kill me softly again. I can't imagine what God goes through every minute. He listens, he embraces, he loves unconditionally, and the 6 billion people in the world that he knit together piece by piece in the womb- reject him on a daily bases. I know when someone leaves, and my heart is bruised that God has been there, done that, and I can uncontrollably cry on his shoulder. I have to remember not everyone knows how to love and through time maybe they might not only see it yet, feel it. Then, maybe they can share it. Or, their heart might just have been beaten to a pulp and our gracious Father can restore & repair it (when they are ready (to surrender and let him)).

Daddy will always be near......

You may not see him, but he's here.