i don't feel so well

I don't feel so well at the moment. I am queasy and my head hurts. It could be that I am up at 2:30 in the morning and I need to get my butt into bed or it might just be that I ate too much ice cream. Actually, I smashed my face into the slide, while playing with my kids, at the playground this weekend. As if it was supposed to be synchronized for that exact moment, my son Andrew fell off the bars face first. There we were: both laying on our backs moaning from the pain asking if blood was pouring or dripping from our marks as my oldest son(Luke) says; "Whoa, I wish I could have recorded that! You should have seen your faces, you ate dirt at the SAME, EXACT TIME! That needs to be on America's Funniest Home Videos! We could be sooo rich!" Ha, I couldn't help but giggle through the throbbing aches. My children have humor, that gives me prospect.
Now(a day later), not only is my face too tender to touch, there is a perturbation that drifts in my existence. This disorder that disrupts and confuses me, frustrates the hell out of every strand of my being. I am fighting to descry the absolute positive, yet end up completely exhausted. What I am thankful for- is to feel this way, because the best of us fall down sometimes. We collide and suffer from the choices we have made. There were some crippling words exchanged with someone close to me today and I shed many tears not understanding this regrettable conversation. I fell, or shall I say I ran straight into a storm. Afterwards I stood in shock, in disbelief. This person has always communicated with me this way because I've allowed it. We were toxic towards each other and nothing was untangled, we left it as it was(a big pile of *fit your own word here*). I didn't use the humor that is embedded within me. I don't feel so well, because I can be better, I can do more, I can look for the silver lining, I can pass on an ardor worth sharing. Bringing light to a dialogue and not more headaches.