Substance

I am amazed at God's love, His grace and mercy. Yet, I am ashamed of how I have been such a child, mischievous and playing as if consequences don't exist. Nobody is perfect, we can't be. That is the process of being human, we are flawed and need molding, conditioning to understand how much we are in desperate need of our Creator. I know how much I deserve, which humbles me. I desire to be a better mom, a better daughter, a better friend, an exceptional example of what I believe and who I believe in. I fall short every day, my weaknesses are different from yours.....this is why I can accept people where they are. I am forgiven, which doesn't necessarily mean that I determine to keep making stupid decisions and wondering why I'm not experiencing the fullness of God. Of course, I will most likely (not on purpose) misjudge or take for granted what I have. Eventually realizing that I must get out of bed the next day to uncover the mess that I made. I try not to look back at my life and regret anything. I have purpose, just as much as you. We are not here by mistake, we have the opportunity to invest our hearts, minds, our souls into something beyond ourselves.

Today, my 7 year old went to time out in the corner about FIVE times within TWO hours. I kept thinking "HELLO, anybody home?" Then it occurred to me, how often do we as God's children get distracted, disobey, repeat our sin and get frustrated? Frustrated to the point where our noses are in the corner and we are fussing, pitching a fit and angry that we have to sit out, feeling as if we are wasting our time. Not acknowledging how we behaved poorly, we might even be conjuring up ideas that justify the intolerable behaviour. I lack discipline in some areas of my life(who doesn't, am I right?), I'm not saying that's cool, I'm just saying. It puts me on my face when I know that my daddy is with God and I'm here still struggling to make sense of it all. I need substance, I covet consistency.

This is why I am in love with such an incredible God -that holds me in the worst of storms, believes in me, finds me as an awestruck beauty, feels my pain, reaches into my most sorrowful moments to comfort me and heals my wounds. There will be pain on this earth, yet my Father, my God promises and has proclaimed He has overcome this world through Jesus. There is absolutely nothing that He can NOT do! He is more than what we can possible imagine! One of my friends has written such a wonderful song that expresses God as the substance that I cling to and the anchor that holds me. There has never been a time where He has withheld His love from us or He has felt short of who He is. And yes, this is the song you see me screaming out loud in my car at the red lights.