Honesty

Honesty, that is all I know. I am completely human and searching for what excites me the most. Yesterday, I discovered something. When I pulled up to a gas station to hobble (sprained both my ankles) out of my car to pump gas I saw someone I knew. I asked them how they were and they pointed to their car mentioning how their wife had an accident and gave the car a new look. I said "That's not good, but it is just a car. Worse things happen and a car is just temporary." It really helped me put things into perspective, how blessed we really are. Sure, I could be crying(already did yesterday morning) over not being able to walk, work out, and be in constant pain. I could be complaining(already did yesterday) over how my yard looks like a jungle, my new broken lawn mower, and not working for a few days. I'm totally fine with my car making new noises when I just spent over a thousand dollars to fix it, as my computer crashed, and my phone decided to quit on me.....leaving me with no communication for days because I made the healthiest decision to temporarily cut social media out of my life for 30 days. These are just a few issues I've been facing in the physical realm, I won't drag you into the drama of my personal life...saving that juice for the book. It amazes me how much I love people, how much I want to help others, solve problems, and see lives improved, yet sometimes we must figure out that we individually need to work on ourselves. God has funny ways of pointing that out as well, hence the sprained ankles and non-communication. I have had to ASK others to help me. Some not hapi about it and others that don't mind. Its so humbling to be in a state where you can't do anything on your own. I don't like how I'm learning ALL my weaknesses, ego, and where I have placed my value. The negative thoughts like: "I'm not good enough", "failure", "I'll never amount to anything", manifest from a much deeper place. This is a painful place to be but, I am growing and growth is not easy, just watch a lotus flower stem up through the mud and mire. Sometimes we have to search much deeper within rather than the way things appear. I long to make things easier for others, yet must I continue to suffer or shall I choose the path of joy and take time out to heal(addressing the underlying wounds that eventually cause more damage than good).....just like my ankles that require Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. RICE is for everyone: mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. That is another blog for another day! It all boils down to this- Healing brings growth, growth brings restoration, restoration brings health, and health offers a place where we can live in joy. Ever notice how health host the word heal? Take time to heal, so that you can be the best and strongest version of yourself possible. Asking for help along the way is a GOOD thing(I keep telling myself this).