Laptop open, heart bare, sounds of small children sleeping next to me. I just finished my algebra homework. Thanks to amazing friends who watched the kiddos for a bit earlier, I couldn't of plowed through my overdue hw without the grace they have extended to me. I am so blessed. I was a t-total brat the past couple of days complaining about my mail not being delivered for over a month. 2011 W-2's, books for work, and a surprise baby shower invite for a dear sweet friend were amongst the lost mail, I have no idea what else might have been in the lost sea of information, but obviously it doesn't matter. I missed out on some things and I was very angry. I didn't FEEL like dealing with another problem or issue! My mind went to a place that was unacceptable, I started to focus on the negative, the circumstances. I took comfort in my skin and believed the overwhelmed chains of my daily routine were too much to bear. I actually felt sorry for myself. Told ya, capital T-total BRAT! My thoughts dwelled on all the hardships, being a single mom trying to battle the disrespect of an 11 year old and giving enough attention to all four of my babes, feeling lonely, running a business all by myself(wondering how on earth is anything going to get done??? -advertising, cleaning, accounting, bills, Facebook & e-mail responses dealing with the biz, blah blah blah), working from 9 to 9, getting my schoolwork done along with each of my children's, missing my dad, coming home to laundry, dishes, etc. etc. etc. I didn't WANT 1 more thing to HAVE to do!!!! I got ANGRY at the postal service, now how stupid is that?! It's like my brain wasn't functioning right. Wallowing in despair, what good will that ever do? No matter how bad our trials or circumstances may be, we forget where our focus should be......upward. In Psalm 121:1 it says "I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth!" God has already overcome this world for us! -John 16:33 When I sit still and reflect on his faithfulness, on everything he has done in my life......I have NOTHING to fear or fret over. He has always shown me favor, I have never been without food or clothes and a roof over my head. I know people that have given up their entire lives to serve God in places where their children's lives are threatened on a daily basis and they NEVER complain! They just do what has to be done, no questions asked! They take up their cross and follow Jesus! They KNOW the price that has been paid for their lives, they have fallen in a deep amazing LOVE with a God that will never leave them nor forsake them. A love that can not be quenched by a lover, a friend, or for that matter not any other earthly relationship. Can you imagine being stoned or hung upside down on a cross to be crucified? To be put in prison for telling people about Jesus, about the Bible? I have friends in India that have been disowned by their families for converting to Christianity. Their houses burnt down because they believe in a God that sent Jesus to cover all of our sins. As this happens they count it ALL joy!?! It is reality to them, and they continue to see their sufferings as NOTHING! Pondering on these things brings me back to the present moment where I am, humbling my soul. I do not consider these things lightly. I am thankful and challenged to do more! To be the hands and feet of our Lord Jesus Christ. To not just preach it with my lips yet walk the walk of compassion, grace, and mercy. To see a need and fill it, to love the most unlovely, and to offer everything that I can. I know I can do so much more, have I really done ANYTHING thus far in my journey? Take a trip to a third world country and see what christians sacrifice, its a whole new perspective! Shoot, take a trip around your neighborhood....rake up your neighbors leaves or mow their lawn, give someone a ride that doesn't have a car, make sandwiches for 5 extra people when you go to the park and pass them out or leave them on the bench while you throw frisbee and see how God opens the doors to the people you serve. Pay for someones gas or groceries, because GOD is bigger than your bank account! He's huge and our troubles are NOTHING compared to his glory. What an adventure we get to live daily when we meet with our maker and allow him to share his gift and love through us!

By the way.....my mailbox was FULL today(approximately half of the stuff I was missing). I know the rest will come -because my God is cool like that, he's got my back and cares. I don't need to worry, he's faithful to ALL generations! Just read up on him in the Biblia.