The room is warm, its quiet and there is no sound, its completely still. I lower to my knees and although the room is comfortable, I am not. I am shaking, scared & quivering. I'm at a loss for words and all that moves in the room are my tears off my cheek bones unto my dampened blouse. If only he would swoop me up, rescue me. Deliver me from this heartache and pain. I keep telling myself I'm not alone, yet there is no one to pick me up as I sink deeper towards the floor. PLEASE stop telling me: 'the Lord is your husband,' don't tell me: 'obviously, you need to be alone right now,' we were not made to walk this life alone. A city is not built by one person! A building does not just appear because someone thought of it, it took labor from many workers. The disciples discipled many and Jesus fed a multitude of people. Living where I live makes me miss my YWAM buddies, who had a clue of what community was! I'm tired, I miss my dad because when I called him he was there for me, someone to ALWAYS talk to. I'm full of wonder how on earth some people love me the way they do. A dear friend just swoops in and grabs my kids to watch them so I can teach, as another hands me a check to assist with my rent! I don't deserve that, I've been a lousy friend to everyone. I've been such a silly busy bee trying so hard to make ends meet. I see evidence of God's hand in my life. His beauty outweighs my heavy burdens. His grace propels me to do more which in turn allows me to use his eyes to see and not so much my selfish ones.
Picture a young woman losing her precious little child in an unexpected death and during her mourning sits down at her piano to sing:
I Have come with one intent
One desire to fulfill
to worship you Lord
Laying down everything
Falling at your feet I sing
You alone are worthy
You alone are faithful
You alone are God
And worthy to be praised
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