Sometimes, all it takes for me to be inspired is to hear music, other times I notice someone else accomplishing something that seems so far out of reach for me. Today I was inspired like every other hour, it might of had something to do with the fact that I only had 2 (out of the 4) of my kids. Anyway, my mojo was slowly coming back. I felt motivation in myself. Before I go on, I must explain where I'm coming from..... I'm a motivator, I motivate, I usually light a fire under other peoples butts to get them going. Yet, for the past couple of years my personal motivation (to truly live and live freely) has been very stale. It's as if my heart stopped beating and I was just functioning on pacemaker mode. For some odd reason today, I wanted to be fully AWAKE, alive. It was like everybody I talked to was inspiring. These people weren't saying anything spectacular, they were just living. Neighbors doing yard work, a friend telling me she was expanding her business, and at first -I was starting to feel sorry for myself with a hint of jealousy. I questioned myself: "What's wrong with me? Why have I not trimmed the bushes in my yard, why haven't I started my on-line course for school yet?!?!?!?!" Have I been lazy? Am I that depressed? Then it shifted into determination, I decided I was not going to accept watching life go by, I'm going to live it.....like I used to. Taking advantage of EVERY second, of EVERY day! So, I borrowed the neighbors hedge clippers and cleaned up the front yard: Happy Mother's Day, Kara!
Some people have justified my laziness and letting go of my house/yard work by saying "Kara, you have A LOT on your plate right now- 4 kids, work, a husband with a ruptured disc, and a father who is terminally ill." But you know, if I stop and dwell on all this craziness in my life, what good would it do me? I need something to drive me? A God who says: 'NOTHING is impossible for Him'. Who lets us know that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us! What solid words of affirmation, that can take a person from fighting to survive into feeling the sunshine on their face. Take each step in faith, step closer to God, dig into the Bible, focus on the positive like: what CAN BE done! Like I said, are you inspired? Then what is it, that inspires you?
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Girl, you never know who you have impacted. I remember you in HS--you were different, special, sparkly, God-shiney then. You were even nice in a sea of weird, self-centered HS people. That inspired me. I even remembered the other day a speech you gave in English one time about helping the earth by using towels instead of papertowels(of course I was using one at the time!)
ReplyDeleteYou know that God can/will/has use any pain He allows into our lives for His good and glory.
I hate to read about your hurts right now, but know what you know--God will not leave you or forsake you.
What can I do for you? Find me on FB if you want. I'll be praying for you.(Toni)