Monday, September 7, 2015

Learning to heal

Today, yoga class caught me off guard. I went to help get over this right rear end issue, you know that deep sciatic pain that triggers when you don't want it to….like all day, everyday. As I walked in, kicked my shoes off, and rolled my mat out in between the 30 other people that wanted to feel even more amazing on this Labor Day holiday. I started to slowly stretch, yup it wasn't going away, my muscles locked up even more physically telling me that they refused to relax. Teacher walked in, class begun. Sun salutations, warm up poses, the warmth of the room, it was comforting, yet EVERY pose my ass kept screaming "NO!" Side note: I love God, I am a Christian, but cursing is a total weakness of mine, its like the only appropriate way to describe certain moments in life at times. If you get offended easily, this is NOT the blog for you, I may have been raised in the South, but I'm Californian at heart.
Teach started instructing hip openers, my fav(NOT), I submitted as much as I believed I could. When your mind gets in the way, your pretty much useless and limiting yourself to what could be. It was as if I couldn't move, I felt like I was beginning yoga for the first time and completely frustrated. I began to focus on just breathing. Softened my shoulders, relaxed my face, breathed in and breathed out, attempting to not notice my fellow yogis next to me folded up like pretzels. Savasana, you know that pose you do at the end of class where you just lay there looking like a corpse, finally arrived along with all my locked up emotions that were being held captive in my hips. My face started to flush with tingles, water collected in my eyes, tears flowed freely. The pain I ignored for years and memories I pushed away as a child, causing childhood amnesia, overwhelmed my soul. As I laid there I was quiet, my face grew more wet and I couldn't stop it from happening. This is yoga. Where healing is welcomed.

I'm not yet ready to share my whole story, so follow on this journey and maybe we can heal together…

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