broken

I'm a little broken, let me rephrase that- I'm completely broken. I could try to say that my life is fine, everything will pass and be ok, but in the midst of a storm its really hard to feel safe. I keep thinking I can't do this anymore, I can't do this on my own.

Today, I woke up thinking how awesome, the kids and I got like 9-10 hours of sleep(this NEVER happens). I was quite pleased as a mom. Then the chaos of getting everyone dressed, fed, clothed, and off to school -on time- hit me like a punch to the face. The children arrived to school on time, I headed to the studio where I literally fall on my face before God and cried. Reason: a dear sweet friend of mine miscarried her baby last night. I begin to pray and am reminded of the scripture my Victoria love texted me the night before= "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."-John 16:33 The Lord Jesus told us you WILL have trouble, NOT maybe or there might be a chance of showers & storms yet- YOU WILL! Okay, so my day gets a bit hairier, Luke's school calls....he's sick. My mom saves me by picking him up. I run to tech to the math hub for some homework to be done and algebra to be understood. As I am finishing up the last 5 questions and get ready to pick up my other sweet babes I see an e-mail on my phone....its my instructor reminding me of a test that has to be finished by 8:30pm tonight. UMMM WHAT?!?!?!?! TEST? I was totally lost and baffled! I had no idea my first chapter test was due. I rush to pick up kids, forgot Eve's dance leotard so grab it from home and wha-la she gets to dance on time, then I rush back to school to pick up Andrew from chorus. I look at the clock its 4pm, I have 4 hrs to somehow get back up to tech to take the test. My faithful assistant covers the kids class for me at work and I arrive home to find my dogs have escaped. No worries, they return 30 minutes later with the help of my small hero- Luke. Yogini Brad calls to save the studio by covering my 6pm yoga class, I look at the clock its 5:15. Mom and Quinton hold the fort down as I take off back to the math hub where I ask this wonderful girl by the name of Courtney to lead me in her graphic calculator ways. I glance over, it's 7pm. So, I venture into the test room. I leave by 8:30pm. I can't believe how the day turned out, I didn't panic, I actually had peace. I wasn't worried, I knew what really mattered. God's plan matters, his kindness, compassion, and forgiveness -that's what matters. Arriving home at 9pm, food must be made and bodies must be washed, the kids & I read our Acts bible study at the dinner table to multi task. Eve falls asleep on the table, Seth not far behind, Luke has a meltdown but manages to carry Eve to bed, and Andrew lets Seth sleep in his bed. They are good kids, I know this, yet I wonder if we could have gone without the theatrical "I'm tired"- moments. Once again: PEACE -I have it IN HIM! The best part of my day was when a great friend sent me a song by the end of the night that put the biggest, silliest smile on my face (that wouldn't leave). Thank you Lord for providing your peace amongst this world full of trouble, most importantly thank YOU for having already OVERCOME this place! I have nothing to fear! I am not alone, you send help and friends when needed. Let me remain broken, that you may mold me into your likeness. I want to be compassionate, kind, and forgiving.....just like you.