i believe

Tomorrow I turn 36, today I am in bed sick. I should be catching up on my algebra homework but for the time being I am laying in bed drinking echinacea tea with some local honey, ginger root, and garlic. Gross, I know, but I have a speaking engagement this evening. I can't blame anyone for getting me sick except myself. I rarely rest, I am exhausted. I feel the weight of a million things on my chest right now. People sometimes quote that ridiculous saying "God never gives you more than you can handle." The truth is -its NOT God's fault, we pretty much can screw EVERYTHING up on our on and take on too much. We think we are awesome and try to pull out that scripture that says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"-Philippians 4:13. I don't believe that God meant to bite off more than you can chew. WHY? Because you will FLIPPIN choke, that's why! So, Kara has bitten off more than she can chew.....running a business, on-line school, four kids, writing, etc. etc. etc. -I'm sure I'm not the only one that has 15 gazillion things to accomplish in one day(that obviously needs more hours, right?).

I was chatting with someone the other day and felt the need to tell them:
"Lately I've been loving on people where they are at. I was very quiet for a few years and felt as if I could only handle my own personal hell (super selfish I KNOW) then last year I was in church one morning and realized my purpose here on earth. That is the kingdom of God, that's my purpose, to tell of His glory and for me to be grounded in Him because I am his, & he is mine. I am falling in love with him all over again! I'm not perfect, but I can relate to others. Its so cool to be in places where most christians won't go, I've seen more people come to Christ in 2011 than I have in the past 10 yrs."

That being said, I am still tired. I want to complain and have somebody pick me up and tell me its all going to be ok. Someone verbally confirm that the bills are going to paid, the kids won't turn out worse than they already are, I won't end up homeless, I'll meet the guy of my dreams(bhahahahahaha), and life doesn't have to be constant turmoil which leads to depression. Is that too much to ask?

Of course it is! This is why I should only have small proportions on my plate, it doesn't have to be full. Life happens and the single MOST important agenda is: God's kingdom. When I focus on that everything else seems to align. The kids don't talk back as much, an unexpected $100 shows up in the bank, an amazing friend watches the kids for me while I have to work last minute, and I find out the place I've been dreaming of for the past 20 years is finally going to be a destination point for me this year! When I cry like a girl God tells me to look up and believe. When I don't want to get out of bed he sends my kids in to push me out of it with laughter that makes everything seem new again. The moment I forget my purpose he shows me HOPE. I struggle, if it weren't for his amazing grace I would not be here. We ALL have a purpose and through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvations that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1, great read! Give me more of Jesus, less of Kara so I don't have to fret or worry bout each day, yet all I have to do is BELIEVE!