Selfish love

You can love and do so with every fiber of your being, yet to experience that same love reciprocated is another matter of its own. I watch people loving in theory by walking it out through their actions and emotions, yet I question is it real or just another beautiful performance? There are those of us that love unconditionally throughout our whole lives, always allowing others to be first....using kindness and compassion, coming across as self-less. Then for a brief moment, we take notice of ourselves, reaching to take care of self, attempting to enjoy self. What occurs next? Ridicule, accusations, brokenness. Others that have shame riding on their shoulders, bitterness in their brow and jealousy in their jaw shun us. We took notice for a period in time to gain knowledge of who we are, how to let the self express its awareness and focus on the hope of regaining energy, strength, or endurance so that we could somewhat provide our compassion. Comprehending that hope is what we long awaited for, living a sacrificial life. Pursuing the only one that can heal and provide for us, giving us EVERY need. Desiring an utopia, a destination that feels secure, a home like no other. God is with us, whether we choose to believe or not.