Deep Waters

There is this deep aching within that is only comforted when I am alone, on my knees, and crying out to God. Perhaps I started this blog post off a bit too intense, let me try this again....The end of 2014 and most of 2015 sucked, it was absolute hell. You see it started with this book. I took my words and put them into action. I put a book of my writings together with photographs from amazing local artist and published it. During this process, I lost everything. By everything I mean, where I was living, all my belongings, my family, my children(which are my heart), my jobs, you get the picture. Sometimes, let's be honest, any time we go after the things we love or pursue passions we encounter adversity. It's like the ultimate test, the universe or God is testing us to see if we really want what we set out to do or attain. The beautiful piece of this puzzle(if you walk far enough into these uncharted waters), that I believe to be one of life's most treasured lessons, is this attitude of gratitude that takes over your soul. It's as if you take on a new mindset, your eyes unveil the limitless potential that surrounds you. You notice how blessed you are, how lovely others can be, and you try to take it all in yet, breathing is all you are capable of. Losing everything was the best thing that ever happened to me. It showed me how to work harder, how to love deeper, how to see others as God does, and how to cherish the moments that are right here and now. This unforgettable season in my life has made me a better version of me. I am stronger and more grateful than I ever knew possible. I will say there were moments I was angry at God, I couldn't comprehend why I had to feel the pain I felt or still do at times. This school of hard knocks unlocked the mystery of a victim transforming into a victor.
Back to the crying out to God, from a quiet place, seeking His face, longing for His heart to be one with mine....this is my comfort, this is my song, He's carried me, and never given up on me. What I've seen is miracle after miracle and God teaching me that I am not alone. I am in awe of His mercy and His goodness. I step into the deep waters, I jump, the risk surpasses any comfort. Fear is false evidence appearing real and not worth living in because perfect love cast out fear. Dare to live out loud, to open up the flood gates and be consumed with purpose.

P.S.
Just feel prompted to add this:
If you are faced with unkindness, know that every harsh word spoken towards or against you is from pain and has no power over you unless you give it power.