Humans fail

Last night, my dog Tiger was with me in the attic going through some boxes to find something I lost in my most recent move.  As I walked out and passed the rat poison bait box, it was empty.  Every single pellet was gone as I noticed my dog licking her lips.  I freaked out, got on my phone and dialed every vet umber in town.  Turns out there are no emergency vet clinics in my town that are open on the weekends and weekday nights, the only ones available are an hour away.  I grabbed the peroxide and started making Tiger drink it to induce vomiting, nothing.  The kids were crying, I was shoving peroxide down Tiger's mouth and life was not calm.  I had that drop in my stomach feeling.  My ex husband and his wife showed up, which turns out she adores animals.  In all the chaos, one of my kids called them.  Brooke asked if she and Adam could take Tiger to Columbia since I had the kids and the peroxide wasn't working.  I was fine with that, seeing how I was on the verge of losing my only consistent companion.  Brooke's phone rang and it was a friend of hers that worked at a local vet facility in town and she got a hold of the veterinarian.  One hour later, Tiger was vomiting up the poison, hooked up to an iv and eating charcoal like a champ.  Thanks to the two people in my life that I usually don't get along with.  Tiger, was dying, she ate something that she thought tasted good.  Like many of us, we think what we want is good, yet in all actually brings us death.  I thought working 24/7 when I didn't have the kids was good, but I'm laying here in bed sick because I haven't taken care of myself.  Everyday I wake up & rush out the door to a job or help out someone and only devote a few minutes to Bible reading and talking to my Creator. I forget to eat and find out at the end of the day I never exercised. This is NOT something that should be normal. I'm eating poison, the poison of this world that says its okay to work work work and never acknowledge our Father that patiently waits for us to spend time with Him so that he might nourish and encourage us (reminding us, that this too shall pass).

Truth is, I failed. I fail daily at loving someone that constantly sees only the negative in me and reminds me of this daily.  They failed, they fail at remembering I'm not God and never will be perfect even though I strive to be more like my Heavenly Father(wanting less of me and more of Him).  I fail at getting things done, being on time, being a good friend, and keeping a positive outlook.  Humans fail, there is not one soul I can depend on to save me, take care of me, love me NO MATTER what. There is only one that cares that much and can go above and beyond temporarily using His children to share His unconditionally love and grace. God is God for a reason, because we as humans screw everything up.  Yet, when we take the time to listen to Him- the world changes because we start to see through His  eyes.  His vision is way better than anything we can imagine.

Last week, my Bible study crew not only brought me a beautiful new bed for one of my boys, they left my house full of God's peace. Peace that no matter what, I'm not alone and I'm seriously loved.  I was exhausted from working around the clock (trying to make ends meet), forever feeling I can't go on another day because I was running this life alone(being the mom, the disciplinarian, the house keeper, the friend, the maintenance, the councilor, the provider, & wearing ALL the crazy hats a single mom has to wear) and it was too much for one to carry alone.  The stress of a custody battle on top of it all, I was sick of complaining and crying out to God.  WELL, a simple bed delivery gift turned out to be an extreme GOD is REAL moment.  I was working through out the weekend and left a key for Leslie(Bible study peep) to deliver what I thought was going to be a used bed for one of my boys who didn't have one.  A day later when I returned to my house after seeing Eve leave the hospital from an infection, I didn't walk into my chaotic-just-moved-in house full of boxes and things all over the floors, I walked into a beautiful, clean decorated home.

Doors were fixed, pine straw was laid out in the yard, pictures were hung, toilet seat was put on, bunk bed was made safe and secure, new rugs in the hall, kitchen and bathrooms, sweet smelling candles in every room, laundry done, refrigerator full of my favorite foods, shelves stocked with paper towels and toilet paper!  POINT made! God showed up and used his precious people to do it! They more than listened, they took action!  God didn't fail, we might at times, but He redeems us and that's when we get that second, third or forth chance to be His hands and feet.  Thank you Leslie, Bo, Jennie, Brian, Wendy, Ben, Leslie, Lindsey, Justin, Christyn, Victoria and family, Lourdes, Mike, MOM, and YES....thank you Adam and Brooke. Thank you all for putting yourself aside and putting on Christ.  It's amazing I fail, yet God still LOVES me ALWAYS! Now is the time to be with Him, seek Him, find Him, through His word and always remembering the things He has done!