i miss u

I was standing up in worship on Sunday during church, it was Father's day. The kids and I made rice krispies for their dad, so I dropped them off early that they could celebrate. I hurried through the slow motion traffic of my town to church, the band 'Mercy Me' was leading worship. Then they sang the song, the song that made me bawl like a baby! The song my dad introduced me to about 8 years ago, the one I put on his Memorial dedication video. This is the song that made me desire to hide my head in shame by wrapping my forearms around my head. I didn't want anyone to know, not only that I miss my earthly father yet I miss my heavenly father. I cried, skipping my breath with tears. "I can only imagine," really? Why that song on that day? My first Fathers Day without my daddy. Almost a year has passed and I'm still completely feeling the depths of my dad being gone. I miss you, I miss the very essence of you. I will never be the same, life without you is different. Not only are we apart, but the distance between God and me appears too much. In reality He is with me, this very instant. Yet, as humans we separate ourselves from Him through sin. But, His grace saves me like a strong man pulling me out of drowning waters. He speaks, knowing I desperately yearn to be comforted. Continue to love me Lord, that I might experience your hunger to fulfill my joy.