After I drop my kids off my heart hurts so deeply I just want to escape. Run into hiding, I know this piece of me no one can soothe. It will never be comforted, there are no words, no substitutes that can replace the 4 parts of my heart that walk around outside my chest. Do you think that is how God feels about us when we make the decision to not have a relationship with him? To not speak or spend time with him? Because this pain is unbearable, it's like my insides have shattered and there is no medication that could ever ease such a crashing. Just for today world, I'm letting you know I am real and I bear my truth through these futile words. Any apology or sympathy is not welcome because this super strong woman of a hero has a kryptonite....and it destroys everything I've ever built.
Most will never know the depths of my love, the loyalty I possess, the heaviness I've taken on to relieve those I consider priceless to my entire being. I keep my distance knowing most cannot handle unconditional acceptance because it's too close to home. Not the temporary homes here on earth yet, our original home. It's the only place I look forward to, and I'll always be ready.
What you take from this is only a reflection of you(not me), so if it makes you sad...why are you really sad? If it disturbs you, what have you done?
Yes, this devastation angers me, I need time to process and live through it. Will I ever be able to open up to anyone again....who knows? All I understand right now is how broken I am. Yet, I know I'm not alone.
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Author, single mum of 4, yogi, laughing gangsta, fitness fru-fru-fanatic, and inspirational speaker empowering others to step into their FREEDOM!
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