Joy Ladybug

This weekend I was a vendor (selling my The Little Yogi books) at a yoga festival in Surf City, NC. Roots of Love yoga festival was an inspiring event raising money for a shelter being built for women in recovery/sobriety. The other vendors and everyone that came by was a beautiful and holy encounter. My youngest was with me and it was amazing having her beside me. As I shared the premises of the Little Yogi series for anyone that approached the table, people found them either intriguing or kept moving right along, yet 2 encounters left me pondering after the fact. 

Aftermath 1: I would mention to everyone how there would be 30 books total, 28 in the making to go alongside the 2 that were available for purchase that day. Some believed that was a bit ambitious, and others would reply "hmmm, ok", but one lady said: "no, you need to make more than that! You HAVE to make than 30." She said it with such sincerity and authority, I never heard anyone challenge me that way before. Who knows, maybe The Little Yogi will reflect its final page where it says "The End, or is it?"

Aftermath 2: As one kind lady asked me how I came up with the idea of The Little Yogi books, then asked me why did I choose a Ladybug for the first book 'Just My Luck'. I thought about it for a second and mentioned how ladybugs have showed up in almost every situation in my life over the past 20 years. The very first time I remember seeing a Ladybug that impacted my life was on a reconciliation walk to Indian reservations throughout the states with a mission organization I was with at the time. The group I was with was having a worship jam session at a campsite we were staying at. As I sang ,I looked down and noticed a red Ladybug climbing up a leaf of grass. When she reached the top her front legs waved towards the heavens as if she was praising God with us. I thought to myself..."wow, even the ladybugs worship God, our King." The scripture that says "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." in Psalm 150:6 came very real to me that day. From then on ladybugs would show up everywhere from seeing a yellow Ladybug on one of my birthdays in India (on a mission trip) to a black Ladybug with red spots on my wedding dress the day I got married. As I told my new friend that was asking me about the ladybug importance in my life, she said "you should look up its meaning. Perhaps it is your spirit animal/bug". I honestly never thought of that before, yet they have constantly flown into my life. Later on I looked up the Ladybug symbolism and found the following, which baffled me because it is dead on! I feel like I can officially say I am lady-luck!  

Ladybug Symbolism & Meaning 

With the heart of a child your dreams come true

Spirit says:  All Your Dreams & Desires Are Being Prepared For You

Be  patient with yourself & with your dreams . . . enjoy the journey . . . enjoy the discoveries . . .  celebrate all of magic of the serendipities and synchronicities that are hidden in plain view all around you just waiting for you notice them, this is the proof that yes,  all of your dreams & desires are being prepared for you!    ♥ ~ Presley Love ~

Ladybug Symbolism...  "Ladybug is the perfect symbol for lady-luck.  The Ladybug brings luck and abundance wherever she goes.  When you see the Ladybug make your wish known to her, and when you see her fly away you will know she is off to grant your wish."   If you see a Ladybug and a Chipmunk near each other, magic is in the air... you can be sure that indeed the Universe is conspiring on your behalf in serendipitous ways.

Ladybug Meaning...

Delight, happiness, and playful spirit all share in the meaning of the Ladybug.  Upon appearing in your midst, Ladybug brings an instant sense of pure delight.  Children squeal with excitement when they see a ladybug, and closely inspect it with big open curious eyes particularly when it lands upon them.  The Ladybug represents the childlike nature in everyone... from 2 to 102.

You know it is a sure sign of bringing blessings of abundance when Ladybug frequents your garden.  Whenever you see the Ladybug, she is extending an invitation to find a garden, plant some flowers, and delight in the magic of nature and how things grow from the rich fertile earth...  Ladybug is also a symbol of taking action on your dreams, as with her very presence she hints at planting the seeds of your dreams.   She will bless your dreams as well as your garden, plant your dreams where they will get plenty of sunshine and feed them with praise and just like the flowers in your garden, your dreams will begin sprouting and growing and surprising you in the most delightful ways.

The red shield and big black dots that cover the Ladybugs wings announce to the world that she is proclaiming her unique and playful spirit for all to see, to bring smiles on her way to wherever her heart leads her in the next moment.  Another meaning of the black dots on the Ladybug is to count your blessings, and show your gratitude with grace and style.

The spiritual meaning of the Ladybug is spiritual devotion.  Ladybug will help you discover your true self and what makes you most happy and fulfilled.    For those on a spiritual journey, Ladybug is a sign to take inventory of what fills your heart, Ladybug signals the way to follow your bliss.  
Ladybug symbolism & totem powers 

Good Luck, Blessings, Dreams 

Ladybug spiritual meaning 

Spiritual Devotion, Finding True Happiness

Ladybug animal magic 

Granting Wishes

The red sheaths with the black dots that cover and protect the wings of the Ladybug, symbolize protecting what is most valuable to you.  With wings you can fly free, free to create the dreams that are meant for you alone to realize and make come true.   

When Ladybug is your Spirit Animal... 

When Ladybug is one of your totem animals you believe in the magic of the Universe, you believe in magic just like a child.  You have experienced it, you have a knowing that cannot be taught in a class or read in a book.  You know the ways of magic and how to conspire with the Universe.  You have an innate understanding of the blending of elements and words ~ bringing forth the manifestation of your desires.  Some might say you are lucky, and indeed you are, but you know it's more than luck... it is the power of believing that is your magic.  

When Ladybug walks with you as your Spirit Animal Guide, you know that inner happiness is the most rewarding of all things beyond measure.  You delight in the small things, and children are drawn to you, you have the heart of a child and have childlike wonder for all things in nature.  You have found your way, the way that is uniquely yours, you have found how to be happy all by yourself without the distractions of unhealthy relationships or work environments.  When you have found your full power, you will spread your wings and bring blessings and hope to others, and your words will be like a magic incantation helping others find their own way.  Do not rush on this path, you will know when the time has come.   

When Ladybug is your power animal you are a healer of hearts, and when the heart is healed one can pursue the dreams that have been dormant, like seeds that have been waiting to be placed in the soil.  

Ladybug symbolism in your dreams or in your midst...

When Ladybug symbolism appears in your dreams, or frequently in your midst through movies, images etc.,  you have been given an invitation to play in a beautiful abundant garden where dreams come true just for the asking.  Use your imagination and see the scene of how it unfolds for you,  Something magnificent deep within is waiting to be born through you, something that brings fulfillment and happiness to your soul.  Ladybug is saying... luck is on your side.... just believe and I will help you. 

Ladybug is also a powerful totem of healing, Ladybug speaks:  "healing energies surround you... release your worries and let healing energies flow".

Ladybug Symbolism ~  have the heart of a child and...  just believe 

Meditation, not what it's all cracked up to be.....

For years I ran from sitting still, from meditation, from having to sit by myself in silence. I didn't want to sit alone, breathe in and out. I'd rather read a book, drink tea, organize my thoughts, plan my day, or balance my bank acct. Sitting still and letting go, scared the hell out of me and still does. Falling on my face in a sacred place only showed me the worst parts of me, the moments in my life that I NEVER wanted to relive. Being bare, open and scared isn't where we desire to habitat. Running and working out comforted me because it made me feel strong and as if I could escape or at least defend myself if any attackers crossed my path.
This morning I decided to crawl into my closet and sit. As soon as I did, exactly what I thought would happen, happened.....I bawled like baby. You see THIS is the reason why I didn't want to be here! The place where had to embrace the ugliest parts of me. The tears wouldn't stop, the pain surfaced, I felt scared, alone, and trapped in a body that held anger from the past. For about 5 minutes, fear thought it had the best of me, until I heard and felt a loud pop. It was my right hip, the metaphysical occurred. When we experience trauma, so many of us store it in our bodies and it's result....physical suffering. Ever since I was a young child I had knee pain. Throughout the years doctors have told me it was arthritis, bipartite patellas, and other medical conditions. Yet, I knew deep within what it truly was all this time. It was unforgiveness and my ego not allowing me to let go of the anger. I knew healing existed, I understood we could live life as if pain was a choice. You see, if we give ourselves permission to come face to face with the pain, the trauma, the what feels unbearable past....we can learn to let it go as if we are standing underneath a waterfall and being washed, covered in love. My hip adjusted as I uncontrollably wept, I told the little girl, that didn't want to stay at her grandfather's house, "I'm sorry." I wept some more and then noticed I was sitting crossed legged for over 5 minutes. I didn't have to come out and extend my legs or slowly adjust due to pain. My knees were more than fine. You see, I didn't want to meditate, I knew of the pain that was waiting on me there. Not just my knee pain, yet my life's trauma. The connection is real, and I didn't deny it today, I embraced it. As soon as I did, it released. Right now, I'm not angry nor sad, I'm aware. Aware of choosing to love myself by taking time to meditate. Time to weep, time to let go. Meditation is not what its all cracked up to be, its more.    

Stolen memories

Sometimes, the only thing I crave is to be a mom. I don't have an appetite for food or desire to get drunk to numb the pain. Sugar doesn't amuse me, neither does companionship.  I just want to be Mom. I want to see my children every night as they sleep, knowing they are safe.  I want to wake them up with kisses and wish them off to the start of an amazing day. I crave fixing them breakfast and sharing stories, helping them with their homework.  I want to see them play all thier games and be their biggest cheerleader on the sidelines.  Something that may seem so small to others, yet aches my heart because it isn't mine for the taking.

Painting memories

Today, I lived. I enjoyed moments as if I was a child. I invited myself over to someone's place and in return they invited me into a glimpse of their life. If was the most beautiful time I've experienced in awhile. I forgot I set an intention to serve and my heart melted all over the place. I played on a playground with children I just met, I painted pictures of nature, fed the geese, pretended the deck to a pond was a pirate ship, listened to laughter, and my hands were not let go by little ones whose eyes were full of hope. So, yes, at the end of this amazing day I am trying not to let these heavy eyes close before I can share this light upon your heart. In order for us to know our part, we must first be willing to serve. To be content, we must first lose everything, and to be full of joy, we must first allow ourselves to understand our pain. Every minute I've been here on this planet has only brought me closer to my destiny. I am an advocate for those that have and are abused, I am transparent to showcase the freedom there is, I will not be silent because silence is not where healing and change occur. Today, reminded me why I write, why I live, and why I exist.

Abuse and sleep....

It's 1 am, I'm up strolling through my phone. I toss it to the other side of my bed to visit the restroom. As I pee I start to cry, what am I doing? Why am I wasting so much time? I haven't had a decent good night's sleep in weeks. I see my physical self in the mirror and am so disappointed. Disappointed, not in the same way others have told me how and why I'm such a loser. Yes, my very own mother telling me that her life would be better without me in it and quoting that my father was disappointed in me 5 years after his death. Did I believe my ex-husband as he told me I was a piece of shit and if I wasn't such a bitch he would have treated me better...at the time, I did. You see, I'm not disappointed in the choices I made nor I agree with those that chose to see the worst parts of me, I am disappointed that I listened to those people for so long. That I allowed them to feed me such hate. I am the one that gave permission to these individuals to cause harm to my mind, to let me feel unsafe and never at peace. I am responsible for the pain and torture because I only let myself be abused as much I consented to be abused. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't walk away, and I didn't see my own worth. I can't blame it on the one that took my understanding of boundaries at the ripe age of 3. At 41, I'm JUST now learning that boundaries exist and they begin with your own flesh! People may see me as free, yet I know it's chaos that longs for foundation. Others may say that I have many gifts, yet it is just me looking for ways to express all I've learned.
Today, you will no longer hurt me. You will not speak to me that way, you will not touch me. I know who I am, and I am not your victim. I am not your "go to" when you "feel" like projecting your venom. I choose to live in peace, to be embraced with love, and no longer hide. I am not afraid of you, I am safe and seen as I truly am. A welcomed child, that is beautifully loved and understood. Who has a life full of wonderful adventures and an abundance of good.

Dating Apps

About once or twice a year, I get bored and download dating apps. Guess it's like a secret candy crush type of addiction. Being confined to my bed this week, I downloaded a few(okay, maybe 7). This is a story, so before you interrupt with a comment saying that dating apps are stupid or "why would you need a dating app" questions, let me say my peace. In today's world we live in a time where people prefer technology over relationships. And honestly, I prefer practicing yoga, working out, making money, and spending time with my children over getting drunk, pointless dates, and cat calls from thugs that can't hold a convo much less speak or text the English language (even though they apparently were born & raised in America). Never a dull moment when you have the power of the vagina, right ladies? Anywho, I'm swiping left, right, mostly left, and it dawns on me how many dudes have NO confidence whatsoever. I mean really, let's think about this. You don't have the guts to talk to your woman crush at work, or the gym, or church or at the bar, so you go online to a dating site post inappropriate pictures and site everything you want in a woman. Yet, you can't scrimmage up the courage to actually speak to someone in the real moments of life? Don't get me wrong, I know rejection hurts. Believe me, I got stood up more than three times this past fall as well as told I'm not first choice or better seen as the back up plan. Sucks like a muther, but I've learned to not take it personal. We can't let others warped realities shape ours. I'm not bashing dating sites, I have friends & family whose lives got better from it by meeting the love of their life on one. I'm just saying that our personality online, including Facebook users, should reflect our personality off-line. What happened to: what you see is what you get? Why do we need filters, why can't we just say the truth(with manners of course). Whatever happened to the risk takers, the ones that take life by the balls? Approach someone in real life and start a conversation. Settling is for wimps, for people that haven't a clue. I don't want to go on a date with someone that can't figure out how to live without their phone. Moments are here & now, fleeting, so revel in them. My philosophy on dating is back to what is was when I was in high school....pointless stupid waste of time. Why bother when you can be living life?!? The best fit for you will see you as their match in the daily environment you create. You will blow their socks off without the picture filters, the things you've accomplished, or the fancy profile you've made. That smile, your personality, that laugh, the way you handle life, how you dance, what you say, and everything great about you is what your truest soulmate falls madly in love with. And nothing compares to that, the real raw you.

I'm done here....too much sick time up in here, up in here, goodnight.

My thoughts on today:

-Graham crackers taste like childhood.
-My head feels like a deep rooted pimple someone is trying to pop, the pressure is too much!
-I actually miss working.
-No time like the present to do taxes!
-People are like dogs, they bark at noises acting like they are super badass until they realize they are just scared shitless.
-I miss India.
-I'll never understand child support, take someone's kids away from them & then make them pay for it? 🤔
-I miss the gym!
-Television is for those that don't want to think or let others think for them...be productive & live life!
-If you get upset reading my post or by someone else's opinion, you take things too personal. That's pretty selfish, because it isn't all about you. Read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, it will change your life.
-Pain sucks, yet is temporary.
-If you're sick & don't stay home to heal, but choose to share your germs at work or wherever you go, you're an asshole.
-I have no filter anymore, and yes, I write children's books.
-I want to play outside right now with chalk art, roll around in the sand, and skateboard. I'm forever young.
-Singing out loud makes the heart brave.
-Smelly feet can be a sign there's too much yeast in the body.
-ADHD is a gift, not a handicap. Only those intelligent enough can handle it. If you can keep up, your brain works faster than the average bear, right boo boo!

The gift of love....

When you hear a grandfather tell his future grandson (looking at his wife & granddaughter) "it only gets better each year." Love! It's real. The sweetest love exist! It's within us. It's how we embrace others & ourselves. It's how we react & CHOOSE to love! Love is a beautiful ACTION we get the opportunity to live!!!!! I love you love, and can't wait til the day someone cherishes me as much! The closest I've known is that between a mother & child, as well as daughter and dad. Then again, LIFE is an amazing time to experience LOVE so divine. God, thank you! I see it now, and no....it's not my meds!

Link to 2/19/17 workshop...

Eeeek! Guess what?!? I will have my books to purchase at the workshop & possibly my new children's book!!!! Limited spacing, so reserve your spot today.

Authors, Alyssa K. Vine-Hodge and Kara C Adams, along with Yogi Carly Andros, will share their stories about loss, addiction, shame, abuse, & mental illness during this Yoga event.
Join this inspiring workshop, packed full of truth and love, to discover how joy & healing are possible when storms in life happen.
Heart openers, arm balances, & pranayama will be included in the yoga sessions.
This workshop benefits everyone from beginners to advanced yogis.
Learn how yoga & healing go hand in hand. $50 when you pre-register, $70 at door.

Sunday, 2/19/17 from 12pm-5pm
Event will be located at Shanti Yoga Studio
7901 N. Ocean Blvd #5 Myrtle Beach, SC 29572

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/surrender-yoga-workshop-tickets-31838453672?utm-medium=discovery&utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&aff=escb&utm-source=cp&utm-term=listing

Yay!

In other news.... two really cool things happened this weekend. One, I got a bed! I haven't had a bed of my own in four years,  I was sharing a bunk bed with my daughter.  I am super excited and looking forward to getting a good nights sleep. The second thing that happened was at yoga.  We were stacking the legs in fire stack and my knee was only an inch or two away from my foot!  I was in awe, because for the past 17 years there always was a half a foot to a approximately a foot away from each other in this position! Progress happens, sometimes it just takes time. #blessed