Snapchat....

As a mother of 4 at 40 years old, people tend to ask me what I eat and do to stay fit and healthy. I use my Snapchat account to show my daily intake of food, some moments at the gym and of course how to LOVE life! Silly moments are captured, pertaining to my humor or what nots, so if you want the scoop of how this momma does life.....snap me. Hapi Balance or yogakara, I seem to have forgotten my username at this moment. Cheers!

Priceless moments

My daughter turned 10 a few weeks ago, she wanted to sing karaoke, so she did. In front of a huge room full of people, she stood on that stage alone and put all her heart into the song "Bet on it" from High School Musical. That moment, I never want to forget, when the passion in her voice had the whole room hanging on her every word and then cheering so loud at the crescendo part. She was more than brave, she was a professional bad-ass. I was in awe of her follow through, it was as if fear no longer lived in her.

FOOD

I love food, never can get enough! That is why eating every 2 hours and getting enough doses of protein, fiber, carbs, etc. to spur that metabolism is super easy for me. It's what I do, what I've always done. As a personal trainer, licensed massage therapist, 500 hour yoga teacher, and basically focusing on a healthy lifestyle over the past 20 years is a part of who I am. Food, to me, is like medicine for our bodies on so many levels....physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially(yes, even in that department), and spiritually. People usually want an easy fix when it comes to anything in life, yet the truth is- there is no easy fix, just work. We work toward goals and then comes the maintenance. Maintaining what we achieved, just ask the athletes that worked so hard to become a part of the Olympics. Cars need maintenance, houses need it, our bodies need it. Connecting the dots to get there is key. It isn't just about the physical, there is more, the surface is just the beginning. We must dig deep if we want to have lasting and lifetime results of what ever goals we may be hosting within us. I can help with that. I seem to have this unique gift of helping people discover their goals and finding solutions to make them happen, as well as motivating them to do more than they ever thought possible. It's part of being a teacher, we bring out the best in our students.....allowing the student to far surpass the teacher. It has never been about the self being the best at everything, it has always been about how can we share the gift we have been given to see an explosion of excellence that travels beyond the self, the family, the community, and into the world. How is that for food for thought?

What I'm learning...

Do you know that YOU have enough love in your heart to heal the world. We all have the capability to become another Mother Teresa or Hitler. The choice lies within, continue to create your world. Love yourself, be the change you want to see.

How can it be?

You love me, how can this be? I am so amazed, I am so in love. I am yours. All along you were there, all along you carried me. You equip me to stand on my feet and not be tossed to the left or the right. I stand my ground where hope can be found. Thank you for making it right, for giving me life. Such deep love and beyond this cry you hold me steady. Strength has been constructed within me once and for all. I am letting you be, as I lay it down. As you never give up on me, be lifted higher.

Honesty

Honesty, that is all I know. I am completely human and searching for what excites me the most. Yesterday, I discovered something. When I pulled up to a gas station to hobble (sprained both my ankles) out of my car to pump gas I saw someone I knew. I asked them how they were and they pointed to their car mentioning how their wife had an accident and gave the car a new look. I said "That's not good, but it is just a car. Worse things happen and a car is just temporary." It really helped me put things into perspective, how blessed we really are. Sure, I could be crying(already did yesterday morning) over not being able to walk, work out, and be in constant pain. I could be complaining(already did yesterday) over how my yard looks like a jungle, my new broken lawn mower, and not working for a few days. I'm totally fine with my car making new noises when I just spent over a thousand dollars to fix it, as my computer crashed, and my phone decided to quit on me.....leaving me with no communication for days because I made the healthiest decision to temporarily cut social media out of my life for 30 days. These are just a few issues I've been facing in the physical realm, I won't drag you into the drama of my personal life...saving that juice for the book. It amazes me how much I love people, how much I want to help others, solve problems, and see lives improved, yet sometimes we must figure out that we individually need to work on ourselves. God has funny ways of pointing that out as well, hence the sprained ankles and non-communication. I have had to ASK others to help me. Some not hapi about it and others that don't mind. Its so humbling to be in a state where you can't do anything on your own. I don't like how I'm learning ALL my weaknesses, ego, and where I have placed my value. The negative thoughts like: "I'm not good enough", "failure", "I'll never amount to anything", manifest from a much deeper place. This is a painful place to be but, I am growing and growth is not easy, just watch a lotus flower stem up through the mud and mire. Sometimes we have to search much deeper within rather than the way things appear. I long to make things easier for others, yet must I continue to suffer or shall I choose the path of joy and take time out to heal(addressing the underlying wounds that eventually cause more damage than good).....just like my ankles that require Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. RICE is for everyone: mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. That is another blog for another day! It all boils down to this- Healing brings growth, growth brings restoration, restoration brings health, and health offers a place where we can live in joy. Ever notice how health host the word heal? Take time to heal, so that you can be the best and strongest version of yourself possible. Asking for help along the way is a GOOD thing(I keep telling myself this).

Waiting....

I will stay here and wait for you. I will rest my head upon the sand as I watch the waves wash over the footprints of those that claimed promises never kept. I let go....as I see them disappear. Water is healing, see how the rain brings life and washes over the earth. It is refreshing and nourishes everything it touches. My soul longs for this restoration, it needs comfort and a place to plant roots. Yet, all I've ever known from humans is the pain of being picked up as if a flower, admired for a few minutes then tossed back to the ground to be trampled upon. This is how I have come to the conclusion that we can not seek everlasting peace or experience complete acceptance here on earth. People will disappoint you, leave you, use you, curse you, manipulate you, hurt you, lie to you, and God knows what else. So, who am I waiting for? The only one that loves me of course, who sees me for who I truly am and still pursues me. I am never alone, through every storm, every trial, every time I fall down....he is here with me. I will sing, worship, give my heart, lay my life down because HE IS WORTHY! He created me and reigns forever, I love him and WAIT for him. He is the only one that continues to hold me together through it all. This hope is my strength and my joy. Nothing can separate me from his love. I fear nothing because fear alone is False Evidence Appearing Real. The tangible is temporary. Isn't it amazing that the first breathe we take coming into this world is an inhale, receiving life, and the last breathe we take dying is an exhale, giving life. Closing note: I no longer live in fear, I no longer feel your painful words or attempts of humiliation because I AM worthy, I AM strong. I AM NOT AFRAID! I see glory that this world has no clue about, I long to be where I belong and look upon the face that I love. To stay in the presence of God is the biggest adventure of all.

Breaking free

This heart is pounding, this spirit is bursting, beyond the walls of this temple, freedom to soar past the physical, into the unknown....as if it comforts me! No longer able to be held back, stepping into the true nature of my entire being. I've never felt so compelled to taste this irresistible space.

Life or voo doo?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Does that sound familiar? Although we hear that line in movies, it rings true in all our lives.  I think my therapist is the only person that believes me when I tell him what happens to me on the daily. People in the past have told me: "It's just life Kara", "You're doing something wrong", " What is it now? You expect me to believe that?" "Get over it Kara, it's all in your head." "You are creating this because we create our own reality." "You're drama! And I don't do drama!" Sounds harsh, right?
I will say this, if I'm creating what goes down on the daily....I AM one fu$#ed up reality show hostess! Falling down my brick stairs taking boxes to a friend, brand new lawn mower breaking, my year old car needing $1088.00 worth in repairs to make it safe to drive again(after already replacing this 2011 car's alternator & battery less than 6 months ago), my computer crashing, phone breaking, court papers served, hitch hiking, stranded to sleeping in my car, sprained ankle, bicycle accident tearing up my other leg, and ALL that happening within the past week. For some reason I have constant adversity and legit reasons to justify a mental breakdown. If I leave an hour early to be on time, you betcha the whole closet is going to fall on my head, road construction happening on the route I take, and someone pulls out in front of me causing my coffee to decorate the whole front end of my car(true story, can't make this stuff up)! Is it really just my luck, or has someone created a Kara voodoo doll to torture my reality? I'm sure those with cancer, people in abusive situations, those living paycheck to paycheck feel the same way asking: 'will it ever get better?'  I may have spent the past six years living through a custody battle from hell, losing my best friend to cancer, dealing with childhood trauma(molestation), learned to walk away from verbal abuse, raise 4 children alone, been homeless, and God forbid I share more......yet I keep on keeping on! I wake up determined to be covered in joy! Not because someone told me to, yet because I CAN and I CHOOSE to. Don't get me wrong, the counselors I've been to  over the years, have told me "Most people would not be able to handle what you've lived through, they would have given up." So, instead of giving up, I have written a book, worked five jobs at one time, opened a yoga studio, created amazing memories with my children, help build a team of amazing people in Network Marketing, and fulfill my life long dream of visiting Africa. It hasn't been easy, yet I didn't do it alone. God has surrounded me with incredible people. Life is not guaranteed to be perfect or easy, we are only born with an opportunity to do our best no matter the mess we may have been thrusted into. Learning how to love through the mud and mire, unveiling gratitude instead of having an attitude, discovering that we can be the change and not the derranged. No matter what happens, understand that we all have battles to conquer. My challenge to you is to be positive by choosing victory through kindness, patience, love, gentleness, joy, peace, and realizing it starts with you. We have this incredible gift of intuition when we are born, knowing what we were born to do. Let's get back to being kids again, because when you're a kid and fall down, you get right back up.

Scripture....

Tonight, the kids & I were reading the book of Mark in the Bible. Mark 2:17 always stands out quoting:
'When Jesus heard that, he said to them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor; those who are sick do. I've come to call sinners, not people who think they have God's approval."

I relate to this scripture so much. I don't do well hanging out with those that feel they have God's approval or appear to have it all together, they believe they have the right to scream at others because they don't have control over them, or treat me as if I will never live up to their standards and must earn their respect.... They forget people are human, that ADHD, ADD, any minor or major mental challenges exist. Life doesn't come with a trailer(preview button). We can't predict what will happen or the crazy misfortunes that will occur. There are those that have limited minds, they can't see past their own suffering & pain. They project their anger and guilt onto others, justifying their poor decisions & actions. This doesn't settle well with me at all, so I choose boundaries. I only open up to those that admit their flaws, share their weaknesses, and don't wear mask. Many do not know they are sick, as they bleed all over everyone else's beds. Jesus came to heal, when we are ready, he will.